Fake Steve Says “New resolution: We’re going green”

Uh oh…the competition is heating up. Fake Steve is getting things rev’ed up at (fake) Apple:

“After seeing Arnold on the cover of Newsweek touting his big commitment to the global warming cause, I said you know what? That’s it. We’re going green. We’re gonna be greener than everyone else in the world put together. No more losing out to Lenovo and Dell on this one. No more fighting Greenpeace. To hell with it. We’re gonna pay them off. Name your price, Greentards.

Yesterday I called together my best people and told them to go out and figure out some great ideas and bring them back to me, and no matter what it costs, let’s get going on this initiative. By the end of this year I want Apple to be known as the greenest company in the world — not just in tech but in everything. If we’ve got to make hydrogen-powered computers and iPods that run on solar energy, so be it. Let’s get this done. And readers, if you have ideas, send them along. We want your input.”

(Via The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs.)